Comparison is the Thief of Joy


Today’s blog post is an excerpt from Candice’s book, Failure is Not Final

“Much of what we believe or don’t believe about ourselves often stems from comparing ourselves to others in some way…for better or for worse. While comparing one’s self to others has always been something that has occurred, the presence of social media has made it even more of a problem.

At times, it almost seems as though diminishing our accomplishments becomes automatic. Instead of focusing on being proud of improving according to our own personal best, the immediate response is to gauge what we have done relative to others.     

I often have to remind myself to stop comparing myself to others. I catch myself dwelling on my performance of a given task and how well it stacks up against someone else’s execution of that task. When I realize I am letting my mind go down this path, I have to stop those thoughts in their tracks and refocus on the positives of my own performance and corresponding opportunities for improvement or refinement.

I see it too many times. Someone lifts a weight that might be a personal best for them, or it might be the most they have lifted in a while, and their first thought it is “well, it’s not as much as so-and-so.” That is not a good way to view your personal accomplishment. If it’s your first time lifting 100 pounds, be proud! So what if someone else could do more. They started where you did!

I often encourage folks to not judge their “Chapter 1” according to someone else’s “Chapter 20.” The things the “Chapter 20” person can do that they make look “easy,” they started just right where you did. Not to mention, there is a lot of work that goes into making something look easy. They failed just as many times as you did or will.

The downside of social media is that most people don’t post their failures. As a result, when we are struggling or just starting, we unfairly assume we are failing when really, failure is a part of the process and it is highly unlikely that you will be successful without having experienced failure.

In closing, buckle up buttercup and fall in love with the process!

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