It Starts with a Belief in Yourself
I have a shirt with a saying on it that reads, “in order to succeed, you must first believe that you can.” Turns out, it is a quote from Nikos Kazantzakis, a Greek writer and philosopher.
We can apply this thought process to many pursuits in life, including fitness and nutrition.
Generally speaking, there are two mindset approaches: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that how they are presently is unable to be changed so why bother trying. They might say things like, “I’ve been overweight all my life, it’s just how I am.” Another example might be “I’ve never been fast and I’ll continue to be slow.” Or, “my family has a history of <insert chronic disease here> and I am destined to be the same.”
I’ve been there too. When working to improve my nutrition, I’d often “mess up” in the same way and I started to go down the mental path of, “this is just how I am always going to mess up…maybe this is the best I’ll get.” A fitness example for myself was, “I am not a sprinter;” a mindset that held me back from running faster.
A fixed mindset will keep you stuck where you are. If you are happy with that, then I guess you don’t have to read any further.
On the other hand, if you want to perhaps improve in some area of your life, or you’re just curious, keep reading.
A person with a growth mindset holds the belief that one can improve if one is persistent and embraces the opportunity to learn more about themselves. The person who is more growth mindset oriented recognizes that although they may not yet be where they want to be, they know their goals are possible to achieve with persistent and dedicated effort.
The person with the growth mindset is always going to win. Maybe not tomorrow…maybe not next week or next month, but in the long run, they are going to win. The person with the fixed mindset – not so much. If anything, instead of looking at opportunities to improve, the fixed mindset person looks for circumstances that confirm their beliefs. They might have something not work for them, and they will affirm to you, “I told you so.” The growth mindset person will view a bump in the road as a means to learn more about themselves which then sets them up for success in the future.
I provide this little bit of background for you to emphasize: the words you say to yourself matter.
The words you say to yourself are either keeping you stuck where you are at or they are propelling yourself forward.
I have listened to Terri Savelle Foy speak on some podcasts where she emphasizes a similar point. She advises those listening to repeat a statement/circumstance to themselves and follow it up with “and that’s just the way I like it.”
What circumstance are you affirming in your mind and is that just the way you like it?
A personal example for myself could be, “I am always going to fail in this way…and that is just the way I like it.” In actuality, that is not just the way I like it. Rephrasing it in a more growth-minded way could be, “I made a mistake and this is what I learned from it to do better next time.”
Please note, being growth minded does not imply that you will be perfect, that you won’t make mistakes, and that progress will be a direct line in an upward trajectory. Embracing a growth mindset helps you navigate those challenges better which supports you making long-term improvements.
Another personal example…let’s say that I have a workout that does not go the way I had hoped. Fixed mindset me can say “I suck and I am just never going to get any better.” However, this is in no way helpful and supportive of me becoming a better athlete. Whereas, growth mindset me can still acknowledge my desire to have done better, but also recognize my opportunities for improvement, what I learned, and reflect on what I need to work on to do better next time. One approach keeps me where I am at and the other approach supports me moving in the direction of my goals.
My closing words of encouragement for you are to believe that change is possible, because it is. I didn’t say change is easy. Actually, it’s pretty freaking hard. Just because something is hard though, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. One of my favorite sayings from my friend Coach Bruce is, “let it be possible.”
Perhaps you have not believed in yourself for a long time and it hasn’t gotten you anywhere. Try believing in yourself for a change and experience the difference it can make in your life. It’s quite possible I will remind you of this often. It is so important and that is why I have kicked off this book with this initial topic. If you proceed to practice some tasks or implement some strategies all while believing it isn’t possible to experience change, then you likely won’t. I need you to believe…even just a little bit!…that things can be different for you.
Education
A practice that can be very valuable when working towards your health and nutrition related goals is to use an app or a journal to document the food you have consumed. However, this practice receives a lot of push back. The top two reasons I hear are 1) that “it’s too much work” and 2) “it affects my relationship with food.”
This particular education segment won’t so much address #1 and I will likely address that in a later passage. My brief response to that is, “choose your hard.” It’s hard to be unhealthy and in poor physical shape. You can choose to continue living that hard life, or you can choose the hard work of improving yourself which leads to a more fulfilling life.
Some insights around tracking come from a book that a fellow coach recommended to me. It is called, “The Untethered Soul; The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael A. Singer. The following is a passage from that book:
“To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them. No solution can possibly exist while you’re lost in the energy of a problem. Everyone knows you can’t deal well with a situation if you’re getting anxious, scared, or angry about it. The first problem you have to deal with is your own reaction. You will not be able to solve anything outside until you own how the situation affects you inside. Problems are generally not what they appear to be. When you get clear enough, you will realize that the real problem is that there is something inside of you that can have a problem with almost anything. The first step is to deal with that part of you.
You have to break the habit of thinking that the solution to your problems is to rearrange things outside. The only permanent solution to your problems is to go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality. Once you do that, you’ll be clear enough to deal with what’s left.”
There are numerous great passages in the book…many others I will potentially discuss here in future weeks. In this passage, I’d like to reflect as it relates to tracking our intake via an app or a journal. Let’s break it down piece by piece.
“To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them.”
First, let’s discuss objectivity. As humans, we will tend to subjectively say we are doing better than we are. (I am not here to condone you for that…we’re human!) I’ve done it too! For example, many people will often say “I don’t really spend a lot of money” or “I don’t really eat that much” or “I am active throughout the day.” However, when you turn to an objective source, such as your monthly account statement, or a food tracking app, or your watch for your steps, it’s possible that you might discover otherwise.
To better identify the problem, we need data. When you go to the bank for a home loan, they want objective data, not just what you believe you might have in your account based on your memory. Similar to approaching our nutrition or fitness goals, we need to know numbers. I often advise people that one of the best ways for me to be able to provide feedback is for them to provide me a journal or screenshot of what they ate for the day. Otherwise, my ability to direct them best may very well be limited.
“No solution can possibly exist while you’re lost in the energy of a problem.”
The problem may be “I have tried everything and haven’t lost weight” or “I need to improve a particular lift and I just can’t.” Yet, these same folks will try a nutritional approach for a week or two or do random workouts or not track their progress in some way. As a result, they remain lost in their problems while also growing in frustration.
“Everyone knows you can’t deal well with a situation if you’re getting anxious, scared, or angry about it. The first problem you have to deal with is your own reaction. You will not be able to solve anything outside until you own how the situation affects you inside. Problems are generally not what they appear to be. When you get clear enough, you will realize that the real problem is that there is something inside of you that can have a problem with almost anything. The first step is to deal with that part of you.”
As I mentioned up above, a common push-back I often hear from people about tracking, is that they feel that it will affect their relationship with food. The tracking itself is not affecting your relationship with food, it is the person’s perception of the data.
Similar to how tracking your spending in a check register helps you be more mindful of spending, tracking food helps you be more aware of how you are “spending”, or in this case, consuming your calories. For example, on the one hand I can guess that I am eating enough protein, or I can track it and be sure.
Tracking, in either case, is meant to help you become more knowledgeable about your nutrition to develop more of an awareness around your eating. In no way is it meant to be a cause for shame. If you are tracking and feeling shame or other negative emotions towards the practice, you may perhaps have more inner work to do either through self-reflection or with a therapist.
It often goes back to how you feel about how you did and it may very well go back to your mindset. If you are feeling defeated because you didn’t end the day perfectly, then perhaps you need to dig a little deeper into why perfection means so much to you. (Please note: you don’t need to be perfect to achieve your goals). Or, if you are feeling defeated because you feel like you can’t get it right, perhaps you need to give yourself grace in your attempts to learn how to improve because we all start somewhere and it takes time to learn a new way of eating and to develop new habits. Even after being at this for 10 years, there is always something to be learned and I fall short of hitting my goals some days.
“You have to break the habit of thinking that the solution to your problems is to rearrange things outside. The only permanent solution to your problems is to go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality. Once you do that, you’ll be clear enough to deal with what’s left.”
Avoidance of digging into the data is holding you back. The answer is not to try another diet or to try a new supplement or to purchase some other “quick fix.” The answer is to gather actual numbers and see exactly where you are at so you know what you need to improve. To provide another real life example, when you have questionable lights that turn on in your vehicle, your mechanic doesn’t just change something for the hell of it and see if that works…they hook it up to a diagnostic computer to help pinpoint the heart of the issue.
Tracking your nutritional intake helps you get to the heart of the issue faster than winging it and hoping for the best.
In closing, there is a common saying, “discipline equals freedom.” Discipline now will save you long-term frustration and help you achieve your goals faster. Taking the time and making the effort to learn more about your food will help you make more informed choices later on. Instead of feeling restricted about what you eat, you will gain greater freedom with what you eat as you learn about what helps you feel and perform your best.
Is it some work initially, yes, but it gets easier. One can choose the hard work here, or you can choose the difficulty of feeling like you never achieve your goals.
The choice is yours.
1) Reflect on a goal that you are proud of achieving. For some, it was buying a house, graduating college, paying off a major bill. What was that goal? What steps were crucial for accomplishing that goal? For example, if you had to describe the path forward another person should take to accomplish the same, what would you tell them?
2) Download a calorie tracker app. Search “calorie tracker app” in your phone’s app store and you will find quite a few to choose from. Personally, I like My Fitness Pal, the free version.
Pick a day this week and record what you ate for the day. Reflect on that. What were you surprised by (if anything)?
Feel free to email Coach Candice and share with her your responses to these two questions.
Sincerely,
Your friend in wellness and fitness,
Coach Candice
P.S. I’d also love to hear your feedback on the content and flow of Week 1 of my work-in-progress book!
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